Ninja Kittens, Tornados & Unexpected House Guests

I'm FRUSTRATED!!! <--- notice extra exclamation points. This means I'm serious.

This past Tuesday night I had 16 cats inside my house. SIXTEEN! But I'm getting ahead of my story.

Adult Male #1 -- handsome panfur mancat

On Monday I hauled Stray #1 - Male - back to vet. He'd been sneezing with runny eyes which equaled a respiratory infection. Also -- worms. Pretty sure, why not, the kittens do. I also took in the sweetie pie female tabby so my vet could see her. She's 3 months old, 3 lbs, and guess what? Besides worms...she has ear mites. And so did Stray 1. Ack!

I had to buy dewormer for Mom cat and the Ninja kittens plus ear mite liquid.

So after dinner I begged Ray to help me deworm the Ninjas. It’s a topical like Advantage only with a special ingredient (like platinum) to make it super pricey. Whatever! I dewormed Mom Cat and did her ears, bless her she's so nice.

The Ninjas... I had Ray on the ready outside the bathroom door with ear stuff and deworm stuff. I went in carrying a towel and managed to get hold of Feisty aka Mister Congeniality. Compared to the two black kittens, Feisty is a piece of cake. Ray came in, making rude comments about how the bathroom stinks (like I couldn't tell -- rolling eyes here) and he applied the stuff to Feisty and left. I released Feisty, then tried to grab a black kitten. I get one wrapped up like a burrito but apparently my burrito wrapping sucks because he wiggled loose, screaming like a girl at a Bieber concert. I didn't let go, but was way too wary of those back claws. I'm already sporting a lovely gouge in my left palm. Long story short -- didn't happen. Didn’t happen with the other black kitten either who has defied my every attempt to make friends.

Ninja Kittens 5, Kim 0.

THEN!

St Francis of Southaven

The other day my friend Natalie sent me the paw print quote. My sister Carolyn called me St Francis of Southaven. My friend Sue called my place Koz's Happy Home 4 Unwed Kitty Moms. Calling me a Cat Magnet or Crazy Cat Lady is a given. If they are homeless, hungry...and pregnant...they find me.

Last week a Mom cat and her sister, both maybe a year old and really small in size, arrived with four kittens in tow...2 black, 2 tabby. They took up residence on my back patio, already set up for my Siamese Yum Yum and Jesse the Wonder Cat (named that before I began tweeting for Herman @Tattlecat and actually met @TheWonderCats.)

My first encounter with Mom Cat was friendly. She let me pet her. The sister and kittens kept their distance and would come out of hiding only after I put down the food and left. Earlier this week while petting Mom Cat a tabby kitten was close enough for me to run my hand down Mom's tail and touched his nose. He blinked, but didn't run. Good sign.

Yesterday I found that same tabby sleeping in Jesse's chair under the ever-burning heat lamp (250 watts!). When I reached down to pet him he didn't run, and ended up with a wonderpurr body massage from head to tail. Later that night I managed to touch to all of the cats including the skittish sister. So progress is being made to tame them, although they aren't technically what I'd call feral. I've dealt with feral. Angel, a tabby who littered my backyard in Jacksonville for several years before I lured her into a trap with a salmon steak sauteed in lemon butter, was the Queen of Feral.

These photos were taken this morning during breakfast. The fog you see is the cold frosting my camera lens. I have 3 heat lamps burning for them, so no worries, they are snuggy warm.

Blinky Balls, Bumpy Balls, Chirpy Balls and Mangled Mouse

Okay, I've had it. I am not buying any more "cat toys." My house is overrun with blinky balls, bumpy balls, chirpy balls and one extremely mangled mouse...oodles of catnip toys galore. And yet what entertains my brats? A box. A pen cap. A piece of dog kibble. The small bungee cord I use to keep the French doors to my office closed when I’m desperate to work and need to keep them out.

Last night I watched Opie romp on the stairs, flipping something all the way up, then all the way down with much enthusiasm. Peaches joined in. Together whatever they had was the kitty be-all and end-all of cat toys. I had to see what it was: a pompom foot off of Mangled Mouse.

I used to do the eccentric thing at Christmas...crazy cat lady fills stockings for her kitties. Everyone had their own and Santy Claws would stuff em with kibble treats and absurdly-priced toys designed for cat people to buy because they were adorable and yet highly impractical in that the beaded eyes and yarn tail made toxic choking hazards. My cousin has taken up the slack I've dropped at Christmas by giving my cats catnip puff balls and Party Mix...to my gang from Aunt Sandy and their kitty cousins. Actually the catnip puff balls are a huge success. They're fun to smack around, easy to carry in one's mouth and smell great. They also destroy quite easily which makes for designer-looking hairballs when they come back up.

Watching Opie and Peaches turn inside out with pleasure over a stupid pompom has solidified my resolve not to buy any more cat toys. When Christmas 2011 arrives, I'll just upend the junk drawer into their stockings. I'm 100% positive my brats will be thrilled.